Dark In A Cold December
by ElaineThePain
Summary: Sometimes when you miss someone so much, you start to feel them in your arms. I don't usually write Finchel, this is for my friend so sorry if it's a little AU


Why did bad things happen to good people? Rachel had waited her whole life to get the lead part in a musical, and when she finally did…Well…It didn't get picked up. Anywhere. Which is why she's in a run-down bar on the wrong side of New York, sipping a wine cooler. "Another one, Love?" The man behind the bar said in a thick New Jersey accent. "Sure, why not." She mumbled, looking down at the now empty pink bottle.

She didn't know why this happened to her. She was so certain that she would get somewhere, be something. But as the years went on the competition grew fiercer and eventually you had to be able to sing, dance, act, possibly even play the violin with your toes. It was ridiculous. She downed her 5th wine cooler, starting to feel a little dizzy. It was no surprise that she was a lightweight, even if she had changed a lot since High School. Something, well, someone, brought her down to earth and made her see the world for what it really was. A big ball of nothingness. That same person got her into marijuana before ditching her ass for a blonde stripper. She wasn't addicted, thank God, but she knew whenever she had to take it. Tonight was one of those nights. She figured that it would be okay to smoke it in the bar, looking around to see a bunch of old men laughing at each other while inhaling their cigarettes. She pulled out an already rolled joint and was about to light it whenever she heard the bartender, "Hey! If you gonna get high, you do it out of my bar. Don't want none of those police officers hangin' round my establishment."

Rachel walked down the narrow ally-way, the only sound to be heard was the echo of her stiletto heels making contact with the uneven brick ground. She tilted her head back to exhale the thick smoke from the marijuana and closed her eyes, not caring to look around to see who's footsteps were following her own. The next thing she knew, she was being pushed against the brick wall, the sharp outing of them gracing her elbows as she tried to make a muffled scream. "HELP!" She managed to yell before she was punched in the face, she immediately raised her hand to her nose, holding it as she felt the blood pour out of it. She hadn't taken enough marijuana to get fully high, so she had a full recollection of what was happening right now. She was about to be raped in an ally-way on the bad side of New York, something that you could only have nightmares about. She closed her eyes tightly, not going to fight against him, whenever the weight of her attacker suddenly eased and his dark figure was on the ground, curled up in a ball as the mystery person started kicking him in the stomach. The mystery man was tall but she couldn't make out his face. The attacker suddenly got up and made a blind attempt to punch the man before running away. Rachel suddenly felt weak and fell, hitting her head against the ground. The last thing she heard was "Oh my God, Rachel."

Rachel slowly opened her eyes to find herself surrounded with an unfamiliar scenery. She was in a small, shoebox apartment that was messy and definitely belonged to a boy, judging by the smell. Memories of the night before came rushing back to her as she put her hand to her head where she hit it to feel a small band-aid on it. She heard the creaking of someone walking across the room and she quickly whipped round to see who had helped her. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw the one and only Finn Hudson standing before her,

"Wh-How-Why…" She began, trying to find the words to describe what was happening. The last she had heard, Finn was sent home from the war because he was 'emotionally unstable' or something, but she didn't want to think of the things he was thinking about, not ever. Finn chuckled slightly, passing her a mug of tea with honey in it. He hadn't forgotten her cravings. He looked different than he did in High School. He had visible bags under his eyes and his actual eyes were darker, somehow, as if he had a million secrets behind them. He had stubble from where he hadn't shaved in a few days and his hair was messy. It was safe to say that Finn Hudson wasn't good, he wasn't good at all.  
He sat beside her, smiling at her. His smile had changed, too. Rachel was so used to seeing his goofy one-sided smile, but instead it was almost as if this smile was forced, like he wanted to cry instead. Maybe she was starting to believe that he was emotionally unstable. "I was walking home from the youth hostel I help out at and heard someone yell help. I followed the voice until I saw you. I tried to get the guy but he went, and he's probably still out there. I looked down and saw you and…Took you home, I guess." He shrugged, as if it was something that happened every day. Rachel sighed, looking down at the mug of tea, "What happened to you, Finn?"  
Finn bit his lip slightly, looking anywhere but her, "I shouldn't have let you go, I regretted it the moment that train went out of my sight. I tried to get over you, I tried, but every little thing reminded me of you. Seeing a star, hearing something about Barbra Streisand, it was becoming torturous. By that time I was at war, and…You don't know what it's like, the noises…Hearing the people around you die. It all got too much. People thought I was going crazy, every night I pretended that you were there and I talked to you and it started to get so real. Eventually the officials sent me home for being emotionally unstable and…I came to New York to find you, but it was harder than I thought, New York was a big place."  
Rachel's eyes filled with tears as she listened to his story, leaning in to kiss him. He kissed back, wrapping his arms around her. "Rachel!" She heard a voice come out of his mouth, but it was a girl's voice, "Rachel, wake up!"

She opened her eyes to find herself in a small hotel room and she groaned, looking up at her NYADA roommate Gabby. "Today's the day, darlin'." For a second Rachel was confused, but she realized what it was and she nodded slightly, getting out of the bed and beginning to get dressed, her face drained of any emotion.  
Rachel and Gabby walked into the small Ohio church, seeing the familiar people all around her as she sat in the second row of seats beside Kurt and Blaine, and Kurt automatically squeezed her hand. She shouldn't have let Finn go to war, she should have said no.

She shouldn't have surrendered.


End file.
